just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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