Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
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his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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