Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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