Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
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Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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