You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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