she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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