i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
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Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
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Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
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