I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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