the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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