im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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