ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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