I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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