my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize