Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize