Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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