hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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