the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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