M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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