Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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