I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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