know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize