We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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