I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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