he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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