how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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