i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize