Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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