Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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