It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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