if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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