you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
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new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
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My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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