Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize