I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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