didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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