Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
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The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
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OPIZZABONMYDICK
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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