I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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