it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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