please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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