i don't like sucking hair
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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