And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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