it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
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Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
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Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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