Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize