I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize