Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize