Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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