It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
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Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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