I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
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Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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