It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
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there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
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Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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