His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
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They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
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The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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