i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize