my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize