My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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