This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize