And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize