Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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